Many of us have asked this question. Whether it’s after eats an entire bowl of Maruchan Instant Beef ramen made with coconut LaCroix using two Papermate gel pens as chopsticks, or after you feel your soul freeze with fear after he stares you right in the eye, we all wonder at some point: Is Sean Vote a human being?
I had the privilege of interviewing him a few weeks ago. What follows is the exclusive information from that interview.
[MJ]: Are you a human being?
[SV]: Define ‘human being’.
[MJ]: Do you have feathers or scaly skin?
[SV]: Not showing. I have none that are showing.
[MJ]: Are you a biped?
[SV]: [stands]
[MJ]: Why are you such a cryptid?
[SV]: I’m not.
[MJ]: What is your species?
[SV]: [silence]
[MJ]: What is your day-to-day diet?
[SV]: [inaudible, something about ‘working at Wendy’s]
[MJ]: Elaborate. [What do you eat at Wendy’s?]
[SV]: Food.
[MJ]: Your stare unnerves me.
[SV]: Good.
[MJ]: Are your parents human?
[SV]: ...as far as I know.
[MJ]: Where do you plan to be in 5 years?
[SV]: On Earth.
[MJ]: 10 years?
[SV]: Earth.
[MJ]: How would you take over the Russian Empire in winter?
[SV]: Who’s the tsar?
[MJ]: ...choose?
[SV]: Nicholas II. Kill Lenin before he gets there. Join the Bolsheviks and overthrow Russia and don’t follow the Bolsheviks and set my own empire up.
[MJ]: How will you die?
[SV]: Fall down the steps of the Supreme Court building. Wait, no, stage an assassination and fall down the stairs while escaping.
[MJ]: Collegiate major?
[SV]: Engineering. Interspace engineering.
Results: Inconclusive. The answer is even foggier than before. Now, instead of a simple Eldritch or Lovecraftian being, we have one more possibility: Is he alien?